"Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions."
-Dr. Grant, Jurassic Park
As most of you know, my first blog had to do with me being in search of new home (physically). But in light of recent events; i.e. the new career, I decided to shift my focus away from leaving sunny California, to me finally being at home internally. In other words, I’m now embarking on a journey to come to terms with my own comfort level in matters of the heart, the mind/body and the spirit. Now while this may seem like just another chaotic quest down a road less traveled, the subject matter just so happens to be something that I am extremely proficient in; my life, and the bullshit it entails. So enough with this intro stuff, let me get right down to my first issue: Married Folks…
I have had the privilege of meeting and interacting with some pretty amazing people throughout my life, but by far the most fascinating of the bunch are married folks. I say this because when I’m around them, I get to see first hand that obvious disconnect from all things single that occurred from the moment they said “I do”. I mean I’m no stranger to the mentality, having said those words twice myself I know exactly what it feels like to remove yourself from the land of many faces just so you can orbit around one person’s existence, hopefully til death do you part. It’s bewildering, it’s magical and even beautiful when its done right. But the longer married folks are indeed married, the less likely they are capable of knowing what it means to be single. So with that being common knowledge, why is it that my dearly loved married friends still find it necessary to offer me advice on a subject that they CLEARLY know nothing about????
So after many MANY offerings from my married friends of what I, a single, middle-aged, head strong, mother of two should do to find my dream guy, I figured I would use this platform to simply say “STOP!!!!!” Hear me when I say that the words; “He’s out there some where” are NOT comforting to me and in fact insinuate that I’ve somehow misplaced this man, and that I’m not doing my due diligence to find him because he’s too illusive and/or more clever than me. In adding to the ever growing list of “Things not to say to single people”, I would also include: “There’s someone for everyone”, “Don’t give up”, “Love takes time”, oh and my personal favorite “Sometimes you have to sift through the duds to find that stud.” Shoot me now and bury me in a shallow grave, please.
Also, please know that offering up suggestions for “Hot Spots” is so not a good idea either, based on what I mentioned earlier about married people being disconnected from single life. Libraries/bookstores are now obsolete, thanks to the wonderful invention
Kindle and other e-readers. Clubs and bars are COMPLETELY out of the question because I’m no longer 20…(although I will be exploring the Cougar option in later blogs). Playing tennis, volleyball, softball or any other sport is not the best thing for me either, because I’m competitive and will stop at nothing to beat my opponent; thus challenging his manhood. And the gym, again is definitely a no go due to the competitive thing. So what does that leave, Church?…..do I even have to say anything? And finally, the icing on this horrid cake would have to be setting me up on a date. If you value our friendship in any way, you will never begin a conversation with “I know this guy…”. This conversation will always end in tears, and not my own.
So what have we learned here class?? Please, don’t feed the animals!! Understand that I am not sad and desperate, and I’m most definitely NOT trying to gain answers from folks who are already spoken for and who have no clue what it is like to be single in this day and age. After all, what may have worked for you 15 years ago, may not work for me today. If/when I confide in you about a recent occurrence or feeling, just know that that’s all I’m doing, and not looking for answers. My single status is indeed a choice, and not a life sentence, and while it’s taking a long time to finally find the guy I want, I’m truly in no rush. So to all of my married friends; know that I love you and that I understand that you mean well, but for the love of money PLEASE stop the insanity.
I have had the privilege of meeting and interacting with some pretty amazing people throughout my life, but by far the most fascinating of the bunch are married folks. I say this because when I’m around them, I get to see first hand that obvious disconnect from all things single that occurred from the moment they said “I do”. I mean I’m no stranger to the mentality, having said those words twice myself I know exactly what it feels like to remove yourself from the land of many faces just so you can orbit around one person’s existence, hopefully til death do you part. It’s bewildering, it’s magical and even beautiful when its done right. But the longer married folks are indeed married, the less likely they are capable of knowing what it means to be single. So with that being common knowledge, why is it that my dearly loved married friends still find it necessary to offer me advice on a subject that they CLEARLY know nothing about????
So after many MANY offerings from my married friends of what I, a single, middle-aged, head strong, mother of two should do to find my dream guy, I figured I would use this platform to simply say “STOP!!!!!” Hear me when I say that the words; “He’s out there some where” are NOT comforting to me and in fact insinuate that I’ve somehow misplaced this man, and that I’m not doing my due diligence to find him because he’s too illusive and/or more clever than me. In adding to the ever growing list of “Things not to say to single people”, I would also include: “There’s someone for everyone”, “Don’t give up”, “Love takes time”, oh and my personal favorite “Sometimes you have to sift through the duds to find that stud.” Shoot me now and bury me in a shallow grave, please.
Also, please know that offering up suggestions for “Hot Spots” is so not a good idea either, based on what I mentioned earlier about married people being disconnected from single life. Libraries/bookstores are now obsolete, thanks to the wonderful invention
Kindle and other e-readers. Clubs and bars are COMPLETELY out of the question because I’m no longer 20…(although I will be exploring the Cougar option in later blogs). Playing tennis, volleyball, softball or any other sport is not the best thing for me either, because I’m competitive and will stop at nothing to beat my opponent; thus challenging his manhood. And the gym, again is definitely a no go due to the competitive thing. So what does that leave, Church?…..do I even have to say anything? And finally, the icing on this horrid cake would have to be setting me up on a date. If you value our friendship in any way, you will never begin a conversation with “I know this guy…”. This conversation will always end in tears, and not my own.
So what have we learned here class?? Please, don’t feed the animals!! Understand that I am not sad and desperate, and I’m most definitely NOT trying to gain answers from folks who are already spoken for and who have no clue what it is like to be single in this day and age. After all, what may have worked for you 15 years ago, may not work for me today. If/when I confide in you about a recent occurrence or feeling, just know that that’s all I’m doing, and not looking for answers. My single status is indeed a choice, and not a life sentence, and while it’s taking a long time to finally find the guy I want, I’m truly in no rush. So to all of my married friends; know that I love you and that I understand that you mean well, but for the love of money PLEASE stop the insanity.
HAHAHAHA!!!!!
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